Timeskip

I would love to hate.
What is love but backwards hate.
I would hate to love.

Wahah! This is what boredom and a distant memory of another test page will do. Scrounging around May's long lost layout is fun. Chris is eerily familiar in it! :p And May too.

I finally updated the links and the about sections. And added more pictures. wheee.

Ethics expiration date
While I was out to lunch today, with some of my co-workers, we talked with one of the people who just came back from a Paris vacation (*envious*). He took pictures of Moulin Rouge :D ..and other stuff that wasn't important :p

Emily has an amazingly detailed description of Tuesday's movie with her, chris and valerie. I don't remember that much. Just -some people- kicking me. And Tekken. And that poor kid who thought he was actually playing.
Scary Movie 2 is a ..disturbing but funny movie. I wouldn't watch it a second time. And a little warning, don't watch it with a group of girls O_O ..some of the scenes are uh.. not quite right. There are some good parodies. But also some bad jokes. And an excruxiating amount of uh.."jokes."

And now back to the title, which I haven't related to yet :p During lunch also, one of the people remarked on the annual required ethics training at LM. "I mean, do they think that every 365 days, my ethics are gone?" "It's like every year, I suddenly get an urge to sell drugs to children or something." Seriously. Ethics training once a lifetime is painful enough. But every year? Sheesh.

Quote of the day: "I talked with an Ethics person about some loopholes once." "What'd she say?" "Shut up and go away."

officially moved. everyone say thank you leandria :p

its amazing how slow freespeech seems in comparison O_O and.. i can finally do all the random cgi stuff ive wanted but couldn't.. beacuse f2s was weird.

new post! is it working?

I'm getting tired of summer. Tekken is cool.

*blink* i think Tim likes someone :D

"I hate you."
"Ok."
"Don't you care?"
"No."
"Then I'm leaving."
"Bye."

Today for a glorious half hour, I tromped through the hallowed halls of Toys R Us. It was so nice! ..All the memories came rushing back. Then I noticed the people staring at me, so I left.

The pain, oh the pain!
There once was a lady from dear ol' Maryland,
who I wanted to call a very special friend.
Up I came, asking her face to face, keep my fears at bay.
Frowning brow, angry eyes, stabbing voice, "Get the fuck away."

Is it really even a choice? Should I even think?
Is it worth it for all of this,
are the rewards even fair?
Must I be in endless bliss,
to sleep in the heavenly lair?
I can live without yonder she,
I can go on without her.
Mayhaps, I'll even let her be,
around her I'll no longer hover.
But can I truly let her go,
to think of her nevermore?
I'll just suffer in personal woe,
awash on yonder despair's shore.

Even heaven can get tiresome, even hell can get boring
Away we go to a faraway land, where we can come out of our shell.
Away I go to a faraway land, that place between heaven and hell.
Is there a place where things aren't bad,
where things aren't black and sad?
Is there a place where things aren't white,
where things haven't a spot of blight?
I want to go to an accepting place,
a realm where I can show my face.
I want to go to a place that's gray,
where everyone likes my way.
Away I go to a faraway land, that place between bad and good.
Away we go to a faraway land, yes we really really should!

I'm bored x_x

It's gonna be a baaaad week..I just know it.
How do I know? ..Simply postulating the rest of the week from today >_<
First, in the morning, I woke up early because I was panicked that I was going to miss the bus. I didn't. I read the watch wrong. How the heck did i mistake a 6 for a 7? ...
Second, during lunch, there was this nice guy who was opening all the doors for us. If only he got them right O_O The first one he opened, we weren't entering. So.. he stood there embarassed. The second time, he opened the lunch door for us.. and we were too far away to get there in me. So.. he stood there embarassed. The third time it was the second story door. Which were weren't going to. And me being an idiot, took pity and broke from the group and entered through the second story door (we were on the third). And promptly became lost. I wandered around the 2nd floor for a long long time x_x I can't believe I did that just out of pity for that guy.
Third, in the afternoon, the ride-on bus was late 45 minutes. Why? An accident between a SUV and a limo. on the clara barton highway -_- ahhhh! i hate accidents.
so. this. week. is. going. to. be. bad. i. have. my. feelings.

....trepidation sucks.

Parting is such sweet sorrow..
Unless you've been with the same bunch of people for almost two days non-stop. Which is why I was almost happy to see my friends off sunday afternoon after a two day sleepover-thon. I can't say it wasn't fun, just taxing. I was at Colin's friday night, after a bunch of us went to see Kiss of the Dragon. The following day, we went to my house. I had left my keys in the house because I thought my parents would be home x_x so we ended up going back to Colin's house until around 7:30 when my parents got back. aaagh! aside from that they'll never let me live this down, it was damn annoying. Anyhoo, Andy brought his entire collection of Trigun tapes with him. And we watched. Or rather Colin watched and we laughed. It's so funny! :D Right. So then we stayed up 'til 4 when we went to sleep. I was sleeping a little ways off and felt aloof. So I was walked to sleeping place-proper and said "...I feel lonely over there." And plopped in the middle. ...I'm not sure why I said that O_O I just felt cut off from the conversation they were having. Then I wouldn't have to scream to be heard. And wouldn't feel like an eavesdropper. They left the following day at around noon.

Kiss of the Dragon was a movie that did what it was designed to do. Mainly, sate the bloodthirst of the audience. There were fights gallore. And though many may not have made much sense, they were all good. I mean, (spoilers!) the movie is set in paris. And some paris police detective is after him. So why the heck did he send NINJAS after Jet Li? Sure it makes for a good fight scene..but ninjas on trains? Ptthhhhhbt. Also, it turns out according to the movie, half of Paris is made up of asians O_O I swear here were more chinese people than there were french.

All in all a fun weekend. But I still didn't see Final Fantasy. And you saw it before me chris! x_x i'm so jealous.

I just got some immunization shots for college. And my arm hurts -_- Both shots were on my left arm. Owowowowowowow. And my foot still hurts. Owowowowowow. ..*whines*

This message will self-destruct in thirty seconds...
When do you know things are classfied or under security clearances? Take today. We got our RSN number for home access to the network here. The number is given in a black key chain with number on it that are changing every minute or so. Apparently the numbers are always changed into something different than last time. In addition, we recieved a white CD, with no label, just Lockheed-Martin on it. Very eerie. The RSN number reminds me of the GPS decoder in..Tomorrow Never Dies :D

I need things to do. Maybe I should write. God knows I havent wrote anything remotely pleasurable (that wasn't a poem) since the start of AP Literature.

Quote of the day: "All you programmers. I'm sure glad I'm not a programmer!"

Energy
The final fantasy movie yesterday..was not watched. boo. i don't like pepco -_-

Tim and I are not getting married! ..We are merely eloping. And having midnight trysts.

Right now, I am in a state between sleep and wakefulness. Whee. My mind is going in all directions and inside and out. *hops around* .... what the heck was I doing up so late?

Short post this time. Too ..weirded out.

In praise of folly...
Many times, a person says things that are not thought out fully. Many times, a person gets annoyed for no substantial reason at all. And many times, a person picks convienent targets. Many times, however, a person also regrets his actions. Many times, a person wishes he was more calm. Many times, a person wants to take back words. Many times, a person wants to say different words. Many times, a person isn't really blaming anyone. Many times, a person isn't really annoyed with anyone. Many times, no one is at fault.

I wasn't angry at you Christine. I wasn't annoyed with you. I certainly don't hate you. And I realize cursing was.. not normal for me. I apologize. It wasn't your fault everyone made you the cornerstone. So that said, it's back to chris again.

Angela, I understand what your mom means. She doesn't know me. Which means I can't be trusted with you; even with other people. Especially with other people she doesn't know either. I don't blame you. It's not your fault your mom made you dependent on chris. That said, maybe next time.

Emily, I shouldve paid more attention to you. You were willing to go, regardless. With 'strangers' no less. I'm proud. That said, have fun tomorrow.

Tim, same. Your urge to bring everyone together is commendable. And needed in this situation. That said, tomorrow is for you. Because you, in the end, brought it about.

May, I appreciate you trying to go. And regardless of if you do, you still tried. That said, 'til next time we get our 'grubby little paws on a car.'

This isn't a full apology by any means. I was, in reality, annoyed. And resentful. I had worked extra hours monday and tuesday to leave early. And I wasn't about to let that go to waste. But the fault rested on no sole shoulder. Neither did the blame. Nor did the annoyance.

But i'm alright now. I'll enjoy what I get. And heck. It's final fantasy the movie. It'll be fun regardless of who goes. Cheers.

All that glitters..
Is pretty. Unfortunately, i'm neither pretty nor glittery (eheh.. most of the time). Therefore..
Judge for yousrself :D
People who give me 10s will receive my undying love. People who give me 1s will receive my gratitude of looking beyond the outer shell. People who want to give below 1s but can't will receive my appreciation for trying to tell the truth.

Chris, what DID you give me? :D Smae for you Emily. I still think one of you or a couple of you people out there cheated O_O No way am I that.. um. purty.

Final Fantasy comes out tomorrow! *hops around*

Quote of the day: "I think that program is alive... it's going to eat us all! Ahh!"

The ethics of ethics
This afternoon, I attended an Ethics meeting at LM. First off, we saw a corny video promoting ethics. "If I were in a multi-national, nation spanning, globally-incorporated company, what would I do about ethics?" "Call all the employees and encourage them to follow Ethic Principles!" *time passes* "Ok. Only 147,123 to go!" The brilliant guy responsible for all the phone calls is named Earnest. That's right. Earnest.
After the video, we divided into groups and had sample "case studies" to go through. One of them was about harrassment. Some customer remaked that a LM worker was a "pretty little thing." She took offense. And while refraining to comment about overreaction, I'll just quote what this girl said there. "Hey! Let's castrate him!" ...Our initial headline for the case study was Off With His Head! :D ..There was also nother case study about "Risque" Videos. Our headline? Risque Business
Yes, you can stop hitting me now.

Chris. Cheer up! It's summer. Final Fantasy is coming out. And uh.. it's not raining. Much.

Quote of the day: "So the question is how to make sure the manager listens? Choke her until she does!" Manager: ".....there's already a waiting list." I love it when the management actually has a sense of humor! :P

oh. my. god. it's the most hilarious thing i've seen in a long time. :D watch it!

In the end.. is it all worth it?

Once everything is finished, once everything is done, once everything is over with - is it all worth it? Do the results justify the process, the effort? Or does it even matter what I think? ..Everything eventually fades. The world is a transient place... isn't it?

I'm beginning to consider whether or not I actually want to keep my room in the basement. It's big place - which is good. But it's also lonely.. down here. I'm used to hearing my brother moving in the bedroom. Or.. the refridgerator making the annoying ice sounds. Those told me the house was alive.. that people lived there. Now, at night, it's... silent. Not even crickets are heard. It's really disturbing. And sometimes the basement seems TOO big. And before people start hitting me on basis of loss of insanity.. a place that's too big is.. uncomfortable. So we'll see.

Boxes were invented by Satan to make the life of David miserable.

Big Brother is watching you...

Is it?...

That Department of Defense hit is starting to scare me O_O...nothing like good ol' intimidation.

I think it's begun already. The gradual loss of contact of friends.. even ones that I have kept for over 4years. I rarely speak to the people from New Jersey anymore. Right now, they are simply pale shadows - a face, a voice, maybe even a memory or two. But no real feelings. It's like going into a play in the middle, and watching the players strut back and forth (points to a certain Mr. Bill for that). Depite what I may want to think, the good ol' days are simply lost. I may fool myself into thinking I'm an active part of a particular conversation. In reality.. I'm merely a puppet. Reacting to what is said, and acting when told to. There is no real input. I feel like an intruder many times. A fragment of times past - a memory, a whisp of being no longer relevant to the scene at hand. And like Mr. Bill said, mayhaps my time on stage has passed. It's the exit now. And onto a far bigger stage. More frightening. More pressure. More dangers. But ultimately, more rewards - in a sense.

But.. it's the smaller ones that matter most to me. That's always why I liked smaller parties. The "human touch." One of the things I truly despise is going to a party - and finding that either the host is not prepared to deal with so many people, or that the host ignores 98% of them. Tell me, what point is there in inviting us if in practice, we don't exist? To boost their own fragile ego, most likely. A worthy endeavor - if it doesn't decrease others' ego. While a large stage may offer more.. material rewards - a small stage for me offers more rewards of the important kind. There will always be a chance for material gain. But good friends, and good buddies come once in a life time. There may be that person - who now you can not imagine meeting - that will be missed. There are people I've met like that. many people. Jon, Andy, Juliana, Flora - all met on a stage smaller than the bigger scene. The THV gang: chris, may, ruby, angela - likewise. ...And in the beginning, so too were the NJ crowd. Alex, Brian, Pieter, Tim, Justin, Paul. So many names. So many memories. So.. rapidly fading.

The human heart is a fickle one.

Godspeed while I remember.

The days of yore.. the days of yesteryear

Some random topic with angela sparked a thought of days long past. I mean the Internet in its well.. not infancy.. maybe toddler years. And what I was doing then. Does anyone actually remember NCSA Mosaic? And it's freaky tables? It's probably lost to the dreams of us old folk. ..or rather older folk. Does anyone remember world wide web worm? ..one of the first search engines. HTML 1.0. The absence of javascript. And CSS. And frames. And many times pictures. When the internet was innocent. when it was free. when it was.. what it's meant to be. Now.. take a path beyond even that. Go back to the days of BBS's. Now, who among you reading this page has actually USED hyperterminal? ..and SLIP? ..and Kermet, SuperKermit and all that good stuff? ..Who among you remembers L.O.R.D - that insanely addictive (and now looking back, stupid) game? Legend of the Red Dragon. And me and my 12th level character :D Has the nigh legendary ..."game" hunt the wompus been lost to the mists of time? Has the likes of Colossal Cave Adventure, Rogue, Angband and Moria been lost in the annals of gaming? 'Twould be a pity.

What of Windows 3.1.1 and MacOS 7.. or System 7 as it was called then. What of my first computer (a mac, of course) - that $3000 Macintosh SE with the amazing built in harddrive (with a capacity of 20MB). What of System6. What of my first color computer experience. And color game. A Mac II with Simcity and Civ I? ..I remember the important days. The launch of Win 95. The launch of MacOS8. The advent of PowerPC. Doom. Doom II. The rise of Squaresoft. Final Fantasy I on the NES. Feeling extreme pride in my black and red mages :D ..Playing through the opera scene. Heck. Getting a SNES the first day it came out. And playing Super Mario World. Who among you remembers SegaCD? The ill-fated 32x? The even more ill-fated Virtual Gameboy? ..those were the good days.

And in retrospect. The days of times past may be the good days.

But now are the better ones.

Introducing, the new, the improved, the new improved Timeskip!

But does it wash windows?.. you can try. Though I do not recommend taking your fragile piece of computing hardware near any type of liquid. The results can be quite.. bad. However, this new site DOES, as always, appeal to your sense of blue. Mayhaps I'll try purple next. Whenever next will be. It took me lots of soul searching and an amount of willpower I never knew I had to do this new layout.

Tomorrow is the Fourth of July. The nation's birth. Which curiously reminds me of how stupid some people are in the US. I was watching Jay Leno a couple weeks ago, when he asked what day was June 14. (or some date like that). The one answer that completely floored me?
"What holiday is June 14th?"
"Um.. I don't know.. the Fourth of July?"
*facefault* Oy vay. What the hell is the world coming to?

Quote of the day: "Oh wow. I didn't know a computer could bend that way."