Timeskip

and no. that last thing wasn't supposed to be compilable. mainly because the angle brackets don't show up right, so i had to use square brackets. so don't try. more updates the girl later :P

//Question
//David Zhou
///

#include [iostream.h]
#include [anxiety.h]
int main()
{
   bool HAPPY,YES;
   char *question, *response;
   cout << question;
   cin >> response;
   if (YES)
     rejoice();
   else
     sulk();
   return (YES)?(HAPPY):(!HAPPY);
}

yeah. so here goes. lets see what she says.
   

Got back from the Shakespeare festival. It was fun - I did nothing all day but run around in costume and talk to people. Oh, and the occasional performance. No classes!.. In fact, I had so much time, I went to Montgomery Mall for lunch. Ahh.. Sbarro's..

My English teacher said she loved it. Which is a good thing *hop* But it was fun. Yeah. I already said that. Oh. I also played Quake again. And I lost to a person I NEVER EVER lost to before (by only one kill). And the worst part? Within ten minutes.. EVERYONE knew about it. I walk up - "Heya" "Hey David. I heard you lost in Quake." "..." it's so very annoying. How does word spread around so fast, anyways?

but. yeah. I got a tarot card reading at the booth sections of the festival. apparently i have something ominous and bad in my future. uh oh.

I AM feeling better today. I have a few people in mind to ask. But oh well. That's how the wheel turns. Aiya.. i definitely have been reading too much Robert Jordan.

In Physics today we watched this really REALLY old video. How old? In one scene, the guy on the show says: "And here we have a machine using the newly developed transistor." Oh my.

For the Shakespeare Festival tomorrow at Whitman I have to dress in a suit and gel my hair back. Like the people in the Matrix. Argh. People've already said I look like a hitman or some Chinese Mafia guy last time I dressed up - at the Senior Banquet. So.. now.. I guess their point will be proven. Oh well. There's this really weird show some people are putting up for the festival. Sasha, Nanda.. and 3 other girls are performing Hamlet in Klingon. Yup. Klingon. Aiee.. and its the officially endorsed version as well. Sheesh.

I didn't go to It's Academic today. Don't know why. Actually I do. But I'm not sure what's causing it. Today's been more or less a continuation of yesterday. I was more or less a vegetable all through my morning classes. Went out to Glen Echo for lunch - that improved my mood a bit. Then Euro and Physics which made my mood worse.. sometimes i cant stand those classes.

So.. I'm home now. Though I don't know why. I might even go back to Whitman. I'm not sure though. I just don't feel like doing It's Academic. Maybe I should call a tech team meeting or something. Haven't done that in a very long time. Or maybe i should just stay home and mope. Yes. that's it.

AIM is acting weird. And the world is going to hell in a handbasket. Whatever May. Either way - it's your choice. I'll be behind you fully in any decision.

'Sides, I hate making people feel guilty.

i wrote something random to cheer myself up. a small update to the "About" section. take a look.

Ever have the days where everything seems dark? Days where colors are less vibrant, and sounds muffled? I dunno. I've just been depressed most of today. Even taking a walk outside.. I noticed the windy chills, the cold temperature - but nothing else. I didn't take a deep breath of air, nor did I look around and simply stare. I just stood there - looked around - and went back inside. It just didn't seem worth it. Even activities i enjoy i'm finding not worth the time. even blogging right now. most times i can blog on and on.. today i had to make a decisive effort to sit down and blog. i dunno. it's just one of those days. where nothing seems to be going right - and nothing seems to be ABLE to go right.

So i've been mostly in a daze all day. lethargic.. moping.. pretty much dead. It's one of those days...

Oh.. and before I forget..

HAPPY BIRTHDAY RUBY!

You're growing old like the rest of us :P

i'm home early. 'cause there was a pep rally. I was planning to go - since it WAS the last one of the year (and m'high school career)..but i decided not to. our physics teacher measured the sound volume at a pep rally once.. it was above 100 decibels! 80 is considered the upper limit for safe volume. Sheesh. oh well. So i'm home right now - after avoiding the teachers and guards outside the school. Jon almost got caught..I did NOT know those golf carts could go 6 mph! Wow!

Senior Banquet is tonight. Starting at around 6:30 or so. So I have to wear more or less formal stuff. "Jacket and Tie requested." Oh well. It should be fun. Lot's of food. And a fancy place - the Doubletree Hotel. I wonder if I got any superlatives?

I promise I'll get a poem out sometime soon! And yes, I'll combine all of your challenges. You'll see May, I'll show you :P It'll have the turtle from May, the "cancerous mouse" from Angela and the "Hyperactive Strawberry" from Ruby. hmm.. how to use all three? Aha! The Cancerous Mouse chasing after the Turtle who's eating the Hyperactive Strawberry who at the same time is running away from the Turtle and declaring its love for the Cancerous Mouse! Right!.. eheh..

today in AP Euro we were told our next project. Something about cooking. Oh no! I can't cook!.. I'm doooomed! And.. we're being graded on the QUALITY of the thing we make. Aiya! I am SOOO dead!.. How can I expect a good grade when I can only barely cook noodles right?.. Aiee.. We need something simple and easy to do. Like drawing a picture, or the thing that May had to do. A song or something. Or even a research paper!.. But.. god forbid.. not _cooking_!..

er.. _almost_ anything. That's not a challenge.

see May? toldya i could write about almost anything :P

"The Pikachu"

I was walking down the street,
when I heard the patter of little feet.
Looking around, lo and behold,
that little mouse running so bold!

It was yellow and stripy and small,
did it want to play with a ball?
I gave it a ball, it sat like a rock,
and even gave me a lightning shock!

Owwww I groaned, this is no mouse
that could so much pain arouse.
This little thing, dangerous pest,
perhaps running away would be best!

I ran and ran and ran,
for a long indefinite span.
Looking behind, I could see no trace,
of the small mouse that I could not face.

But O! There it was, there it sat!
So cute and cuddly, ready for a pat.
But I was not so easily fooled,
over my own actions, surely I ruled.

Though soon I barely could not stop
geting up to it and petting it a lot!
Looking so cute, ready for a cuddle,
Aiya! My mind is in such a muddle.

I soon gave up, did what I did,
so shameful that I immediately hid.
What did I do, to that miserable slug?
Picked it up and gave it a really big hug!

eheh.. *sweatdrop* May made me do it!..I swear!

It's Academic was fun today. Sorta. Flora made us do literature questions. *mutter* oh well. I didn't do TOO badly on the physics quiz... i just missed some things i thought i got right. I KNEW that E=mc^2. I forgot to take the relativity dilation though.. sheesh. AND to subtract the E=MoC^2.. the rest energy of the object. I hate you Einstein :P

May signed off abruptly :P ..after AIM kicked me off for some reason. oh well. GET BACK HERE! ...
I'm running out of poem ideas. I think I've strained my creative juices to their limit. I can't for the life of me think of a subject to write about. *mutter* So where's my muse when she's needed? :P

I guess this is obligatory now :P
HI MAY! wave and smile, everyone.

okie. thats my message for today ;)

"It's Academic Blues"

Mailing envelopes, it's the way to go.
Licking edges, it's a very tough foe!
But soon it was done,
and then it was fun,
for It's Academic had truly begun.

Then Flora said, "Get back here!"
And the entire club, cowered with fear.
"There are many more letters yet to send
so here they are for you to tend!"
And the entire club, to her will did bend.

Soon we finished, the letters sent,
but by this time, we were all spent.
So when Flora said, "Now you can play!"
we hardly had the energy to do it that way.
But the entire club, gave Flora her say.

It was nigh three-thirty three,
when we were of It's Academic free.
And when Flora let us leave,
we did with a mighty heave,
and behold not one of us did grieve.

Mailing envelopes, it's the way to go.
Scary Flora, she's a very tough foe!
But she had her will,
and did her drill,
and It's Academic had its fill.

So I'm stretching it. Flora not really that bad. And I like It's Academic, despite having to lick envelopes :P

I had my Relativity test in Physics today. Wasn't as hard as I thought it would be.. though i know i got one question wrong. Something about relatvie velocities going at 0.5c and 0.9c... oh well.

May, don't worry. I'll keep asking ;) 'Sides, with a pickle like you backing me up, I can't fail!.. hopefully.

I think the last couple hours has shown that I have a clone somewhere in the world. More than only one clone probably. First Rooby thinks I'm an 'older guy clone'. And now May's another clone. Ahhh!.. It's the invasion of the pod people! We're all gonna be the same! ...it just goes to show you that all great minds think alike :)

"I know what you did last night..."

All last night, we played and played
not any video games, nor any sports.
What did we do, all last night?
Simply ask Shakespeare, what we did.
We kept him company, through the night,
reading his works and acting his plays.
By the morning we were tired,
and when first awoke we spoke like him.
"The morrow dost arrive this time,
and yonder window sunlight breaks!"
Mr. Shakespeare, it's all your fault!

Yeah. I actually did all that. Me and my group mustve spent forever doing that stupid Rosencrantz and Guildernstern Are Dead scene.. but its a funny one. Hilarious even :P All you people should read it! The play I mean, the one by Tom Stoppard.

"Bounds of Friendship"

Glimmering hope, nervous tension.
Faint question, eternity of silence.
Regretful answer, reassuring smile.
Understanding eyes, encouraging sentiments.
Friendship reviewed, friendship renewed.
Laugh about old times, chased by nostalgia.
Comforting gestures, thankful words.
Forever friends, we'll remain.
Nothing more, nothing less.

"I would love to! But my boyfriend is coming down and bringing me." ...Yeah, so I thought. But at least I know for certain now.

Thpppt. May, you logged off! ..I was occupied with talking with other people and reading random stuff online.. and uh english homework that I didnt notice you leaving. hmph. couldve gave me warning ;)

Oh well. Sleep tight :)

"Downward Spiral"

Voices rise,
Temper flares,
Eye-sight tears.

What will happen if I fall?
Will I be caught in a net of Duty?
Will I drop, racing against the ground?
What will happen when I shout
and prepare to leap and fight a bout?
Will I be saved by a hand of Control?
Will I lose, battling against my fate?

Swirling vortex,
spiraling emotions,
drowning figures.

*sigh* I'm not sure if I should ask this girl to the prom. Maybe. Maybe not. I think she has a boyfriend. Or something. And I don't want to intrude. Or something. Damn.

Why is it that with some parents there is no middle ground? Why is it that it's either "Do this and do that because I told you so" or "Do whatever you want, because I don't care"? Both are just as bad! God damn it.. where is the middle ground? I want you to care - but caring is not absolute control! There is a difference!.. Argghhh!.. I seriously am considering cursing.. even if I do have a moral viewpoint against it. Aww.. screw it. Where is the fucking middle ground?!? ...And respect! Yes, I'm a son. Yes, you raise and feed me. But does that earn respect? NO! I'm gratified, yes. Fucking respect you must fucking earn! And every time you lose your temper, every time you make some outrageous threat, you think you're earning my respect? No fucking way. Right now, sometimes my respect is so low that I barely consider you my parents. So don't fucking scream at me if I don't give you any. Earn it.

Temper is another thing. Why is it that I must keep MY temper? So it's alright for YOU to scream and rant and not okay for me? And everytime _I_ have a TINIEST bit of a fucking temper, you point out that this is YOUR house? Fine. It is your house. But we're all one family. Aren't we? 'Cause it doesn't fucking seem like it sometimes. It's your house, it's your food, hell, I come from you. Does that make me yours? NO! I am a part of this FAMILY. And if you think FAMILY means two people controlling the lives of their kids, then you are fucking screwed up! Temper is a counter-productive thing. Yes, Iagree. But its allowed. ANd it is definitely fucking allowed if YOU are allowed. So let me have my temper. And learn what a FAMILY means. Then maybe I'll START to have respect for you.

You must realize the lines between YOUR life, and MY life. MY job, and HOW I do it is not YOUR job. Yes. I'll take advice. But if that same fucking advice is repeated every single time my job comes up, then keep it! I don't fucking need it. It's not helping anyone, and only making me think you are a complete idiot. I KNOW I couldve worked on days other than Thursday and Friday. However, the schedule I set up with my boss was that I work only Thursdays and Fridays. Does that mean I CAN'T work on those other days? No. It means that I don't see myself as REQUIRED to work those days. So what if I decided to finish the job on the next day I work? It is early and the deadline is far off. So fuck off, and let me do my job.

AND FINALLY STOP BUGGING ME ABOUT THE PROM!.. I KNOW I don't have someone to go with yet. I KNOW that prom is in May. So stop FUCKING reminding me! It's my personal life. Do you know what that means? My PERSONAL life. As in you stay out. If I want your advice on prom and dating, I'll take it. Until then, go away. And stop pestering me. Do you even know what that DOES? I've been wanting to ask certain people for a couple days now. So everytime I decide to ask.. what happenes? You fucking start ranting about how I'm not going to have a prom date and how my life will be doomed and how I will remain single and unmarried til the day I die. Then what happens? I'm no longer in the mood to ask that person. Because I know that if I do, I'll bear a scowl on my face. SO BACK THE FUCKING OFF!.. I do not need your input!

Why is it that you maintain such a narrow view of the world and the future?!? "Why are you still going to It's Academic? College applications are over already." BECAUSE IT'S FUN. And if you think that I'm going to stop attending because it serves "no purpose" anymore, then you are a fucking moron! I don't know how YOU think, though I have an inkling. To YOU, everything must have a purpose. Why should I go over to my friends house? I'm not doing anything constructive there. BECAUSE ITS A CHANCE TO RELAX. And with you fucking blabbering all the time, I get precious little of that. Why do I still like to do stuff with the Whitman webpage? Because I like it! Why don't I work more instead of doing that type of stuff that doesn't pay? BECAUSE MONEY IS NOT THE CENTRAL OBJECT OF EVERYTHING I DO! I'm in It's Academic because I LIKE the club. It's FUN. Why don't I work in that time? Because I'm already working. "How come you don't work more? Do you not like the job?" I like the job! But I DO NOT want to do the samething all the time! So stop talking about "constructive" and "money". I'm doing both - just not every single waking minute.

Do you understand what the word PRIVACY means? Do you know WHY my door is closed sometimes? Because I don't feel up to talking with you! And do you know why I don't like you going into my room? Not because i have drugs or something in there!.. but because in the past every single fucking time I let you in - I've caught you snooping around. Opening my drawers, looking under the bed, opening my bookbag - GOING THROUGH MY WALLET.. looking for who knows what the hell what. What are you looking for? Maybe if you ASK me, you'll find it.

There are times when I want to be left alone. That means I DON'T want to talk to you. So stop taking it as a PERSONAL INSULT everytime I decide to walk away and not talk to you. It's because I'm either too angry, too bitter, or too something that I want some time alone. To myself. MYSELF. And myself does not include you going into my room - especially when I say NOT to come in. Everything I do is NOT directed against you.

Some people can't read right. YOU on the other hand, read only half of something. You see a piece of paper on my desk. You see the words Work Sheet or somesuch. You ASSUME it's a major assignment that was due the day before yesterday and write ON THE SHEET "David, hurry up and do it." I FUCKING KNOW! And it is NOT due yesterday, or the day before yesterday. It's due TOMORROW or some time later. And a blank sheet does not mean I will not do it. It means that I haven't YET done it.

Why do teachers assign homework? So that students can second guess them and do "what they really wanted them to do". If a teacher assigns 10 problems, it DOES NOT mean that what he really wanted done was the ENTIRE fucking chapter. It means he wants 10 problems. Sure, I might do more than that sometimes. But you DON'T have to force it down my throat everytime you see my homework.

And you do the same thing with my brother. Why the fucking hell do you THINK the teacher wrote "Monday", "Tuesday" and "Wednesday" on the homework sheet? So that the student can do it all in one day?!? Hell no! Monday means what should be done monday. Tuesday means what should be done Tuesday.

The money I earn. The money that _I_ earn. EARN. As in its NOT your money. And its NOT given. I understand how you might disapprove of what I buy with my money. But to outright fucking scream at me for using MY money in a different manner than you use yours? That's screwed up. I understand when you were my age you didn't have so much money. I UNDERSTAND when you were my age you had less than me. Well, that's too bad. I spent time AND effort learning the skills I have to use for my job. And the pay is accordingly. So stop feeling fucking JEALOUS or whatever you're feeling, and let me spend it how I want.

And THAT is the state of my life as of this moment. Bitter. Dark. Angry. Probably selfish for both me and others.

And when I actually ASKED someone to the prom today.. I got "But we're friends. And I wouldn't feel comfortable going with you." God damn it. Why is it that everything must happen AGAINST me?.. Does ANYONE in this fucking world TRULY care for me? My parents sure as hell don't seem to. And neither do my schoolmates either. Screw it all. I'm going to sleep.

Ok. I promise. No more bad poems today.

"The Importance of Jelly"

What good is peanut butter without Jelly?
What fun is the sandwhich without grape?
All I know is that it sure would be smelly.

An american classic,
Peanut butter and Jelly.
A midday classic,
Simple sandwhich lunches.

Why should you eat peanut butter and a bun?
Why wouldn't you get more juicy grape jelly?
Surely without jelly, it wouldn't be fun.

A challenge from Angela. Once again the gaunlet has been thrown. Oh my. and Aiyaa...

"Peanut Butter"

That silky smooth butter,
made from even brown peanuts.
That texture without stutter,
without even a mutter.

The roasting sweet flavor,
it's gaining my favor.

That mouth-watering smell,
drawing me closer and closer,
its aroma ringing like a bell,
nearing my mouth.. all is swell.

A challenge from May. The gauntlet has been thrown. This is the result. Aiyaa...

"Work"

Early in the afternoon,
more work was given to me.
And though I expect more soon,
its end I can not see.

Can I ever have too many things?
Will I ever finish so much work?

Late in the evening,
more work came my way.
And though I expect a summoning,
I'm already under its sway.

Will I ever say "enough"?
Can I ever stop accepting?

Piling higher than the mountaintops,
more things than the street-front shops,
the work has me in its deadly grasp,
so that I all can do is simply gasp.

I'm finding that I have lots of work. And the amazing thing is that very little of it is school work. Sheesh. I have gotta stop doing so many things outside of school.

I have trouble with puns. I make them up at the worst times..:
Group of friends: *curses at random things* We're pissed!
Andrew: *gives something the finger* I'm pissed!
David: Sheesh. That's so fowl!
Everybody: *glare*
David: eheh.. *sweatdrop* Sorry..
Everybody: *glare*
David: I promise I won't do it again!
I don't know why I do it. I can't help myself sometimes.

And in other news.. May! Hurry up and add stuff to your blog! I have nothing to read :P So get to it!

"Flaming Fire"

Flickering flames dancing in the moonlight,
Rippling lines flowing in the sunlight,
Bright burning beauty at its height.

Waving tenrils in the sweltering heat,
glowing gracefully by its own beat,
moving stopping - 'tis no small feat.

Roaring thunder high enough to fly,
Sending whisps to the red-tinged sky,
'Til it dies out with a whispering sigh.

Well - May called me a Pyro. So.. I might as well write something about fire. So once again 'cause of something May said.. I decided today's poem subject :P

gah. and I'm still trying to find a prom date. Hmm.. dang and Senior Banquet is coming up fast too...

"Bloggin"

"Now go and start blogging you!" she says,
encouraging me in so many ways.
"But what will I write about?" I shout,
looking for a way to get out.
"About the color red and fraise!" she said.
But then I say "All my french is outta my head!"
"And what about the color red?"
"I guess that's fine, but it's time for bed!"

Right. A short little ditty on behalf of May. You wanted "Red" and "Fraise" in it. So there ya go :)..

"Hell in a Handbasket"

Just today the fishies said,
"Where exactly are we head?"
You're going to hell my dears
and will face your worstest fears.

"But where are we head?", they said.
You're going to hell in a handbasket,
so my fishies, please don't blow a gasket.
A basket out of styrofoam,
will surely bring you home.
Going to hell you are,
don't worry it's not far.

And then the fishies asked,
"Why are we going so fast?"
Becuase you're going to hell my dears,
in a white styrofoam handbasket.
So move your gears,
and get in yer casket!

This poem is based off one of May's ideas. We were walking back and she noted, "Hey! The are going to hell in a handbasket!" ..and thus this was born.

*sigh* my next big priority in life since apparently no one likes me enough?

find a prom date. *mutter*

"All Around Green"

Stuck in a world of green
and liking what is seen,
wonder every moment,
simple calm attonement.
The mark of nature's work
watching the color lurk.

What is the color
of great nature's
scene?
What is the feeling
of the wide open
green?

Expansive fields,
fertile plains,
sacred forests,
holy meadows.

What is the feeling
of grand nature's
art?
What is the color
of the awesome
sight?

That knowledge is no task
and in order to bask,
all you have to gleen,
is majestic green.


This is for all you green-lovers our there :) Don't worry, I haven't forgotten about you.

"Hues of Blue"


Loving is like a color;
which would that be?
Passion is like a color;
which would that be?
Caring is like a color;
which would that be?
Smiling is like a color;
which would that be?
Leaving is like a color;
which would that be?


Loving is like blue,
the deep midnight blue.
Passion is like blue,
the bright flaring blue.
Caring is like blue,
the calm twinkling blue.
Smiling is like blue,
the light rising blue.
Leaving is like blue,
the dark sinking blue.


...thats it for today.

"Surrounded by Blue"

Little island surrounded by blue,
floating and holding against crashing waves.
Lonely island surrounded by blue,
thinking and mulling against flowing tides.
Barren island surrounded by blue,
eroding and fading against raging winds.
Heavy island surrounded by blue,
sinking and losing against pushing rain.
Lovely island surrounded by blue,
winning and caring with helping hands.

...

"Blue Waters"


Blue waters flowing high and fast,
Barely restrained by massive dam.
And yet when breaking out at last
Reveals itself to be a sham?


Blue waters flowing wide and deep,
Drowning beneath those heavy waves.
But reaching bottom wakes from sleep
That feeling to which water paves?


Blue waters trickling low and slow,
Gaining lost ground each by each.
Let loose the liquid, let it flow.
And sit down and rest, on the beach.


Blue waters trickling thin and long,
Taking places from weak and strong.
Conquer the rest and you shall see
The very things that make me be.


....right. so im still alive.

Due to some personal problems.. I'm afraid that I may not be online much for the next while. How long? I'm not sure. I will check my email occasionally though, at david@takiweb.com

A new week means.. a new poll! Take it on the left. Brownie points to any who get the references ;) And as for last weeks results:

Blue, naturally, garnered the most vost :) with Red, Green, Yellow, and some others all tied for second. To those other people who voted blue, I love you! Hah. I knew it. Blue _IS_ best :P


I swear. The gods are mocking us. This morning the snow gods gave a hint of what might of been. A tiny amount of snow. That didn't stick. That isn't even visible any more. ..And I still have my research paper due. I know who not gonna be sleeping tonight.. and the next..

WHERE'S MY SNOW?!? WHERE'S MY SNOW?!? Hah. "At least half a foot of snow". Right. Then where is it? Stupid weather people. I WANT MY SNOW DAY!.. hmph.

Somebody needs to write happy poetry. Cheerful poetry. Poetry that doesn't want to make one cry. Or feel down. Or sad. Or depressed. Hm. Those are the same things aren't they?.. What I need are happy poems! Jovial ones! ..bah. Someone write me a happy poem. Seems like even I can't write one completely cheerful and light.

I had an "It's Academic" tournement today, at Rockville High SChool. There were no magnet schools allowed! *yeah!*..

We were quite proud of the fact that we got the only Walt Whitman question right. Took us a while though. *sweatdrop*.. And apparently no one on the team (myself included) can do simple geometry. "A ladder of height 5 is 4 feet away from a building which it is leaning against. How high is the building?" ...and we blanked. Oii.. it was only later that we smacked our collective heads and said "3 4 5!".. and by then the question was over. So my math teacher is going to kill me :P

And now.. I have a research paper due next week.. *hopes for snow day hopes for snow day*

Something new comes this way.. in the Thoughts section. It's an "Interactive Story". Check it out! And add stuff to it :P

To the two other people who voted for blue, I applaud you. You have the thanks of.. blue-lovers everywhere!

Today during AP Lit, we were going over the thesis statements we wrote. The teacher greeted most people's with: "Oh mercy! Rewrite this!" "Didn't you learn anything from before?" "What is this? Go back!" "You think I don't know this? It's so obvious! Make me another one!"... needless to say when it was my turn to go up, I was quite.. apprehensive.

"Uh.. here's my thesis.." *hopes he won't get yelled at TOO much* "David!" "What?" *expecting the worst* "It's.. one of the best I've seen today!" "Whaa-? You like it?!?" "It's original! Of course I like it, you twit. Full credit." "...Thanks.." *at this point, i'm bewildered and amazed*

Something I WON'T tell her is that I wrote my thesis in the period before AP Lit ;)

why i wrote that last post? how come it appeared outta no where?.. i dunno. guess i felt like i should put my two cents in the "I'm having a bad day week."

*sigh* Is this week the designated "I'm having a bad day" week? Seems like everyone around me is having a bad week. Dana had her problems over the weekend. And J hers. May's been getting.. progressively more bitter? And Angela is.. becoming worn. Ruby? I dunno. Chris.. is having a worse week than usual. Monika.. I dunno. She seems off. Flora is getting more and more panicked about coming events. And Andrew's back is hurting like hell. Andy is getting annoyed by Ram. Jon? Seems less motivated and more tired. Colin is sleepy all of the time, and lethargic. And Brian.. well, he as uncaring and apathetic as ever.

And how come _I_ have to listen to over half of them bitch and whine? (Not you Rooby, or you Angela, or you May.. well.. a little. That blog may be a bit overboard.) EVERYONE has problems. You, me, the person next door. You think YOUR life sucks? Well, EVERYONE has bad events in their lives. Complaining is perfectly fine. Up to a point. Repeatedly stressing your problems will not make them go away. Unhappy with the problems? DEAL. and fix them. ATTEMPT to correct them. Just DON'T sit there and whine.

Bitching and whining are natural reactions. Hell, I can bitch with the best of them. Sort of. But they are only helpful up to a point. Yes, they relieve stress. Yes, they relieve anger. But they can also be annoying as hell for the person listening to you!..

I care about your problems. I can relate to some of them, even. But, I can not be a repository for all your woes!.. Nor can I give advice all the time. I have my own stupid problems to deal with. Yes, I understand your problems. Yes, I give a shit about what happens. Yes, I feel for you. Yes, I can sympathize. Yes, I can be comforting. Yes, what happens to you DOES matter to me. I'm not saying that they don't. I really DO CARE about what happens to all of you. You're my friends. My close friends even. But what I CAN NOT do is just sit there and soak up your troubles.

You think I don't have problems in my life? I have plenty! You think College Applications aren't getting to me? They are! You think taking multiple AP classes is a breeze? Hell no! You think I've completely satisfied with my personal life? Of course not! Am I happy with everythingin my life? I wish. But, I AM NOT INSANELY RANTING! (ok little. so this is my first rant in a while. guess i needed it.)

Right. So that said, I feel a lot better. So.. May. I'm not angry at you. Or annoyed. Just.. I dunno. People DO care about you. You are important to your friends. Your feelings matter just as much as the next person's.

Ok. My ugh.. insanely long rant is done. Wow. This is almost longer than my english essay today *boggle*.. But. Yeah. I'm not pissed at anyone. Nor am I angry. Just.. tired. So, please don't take offense at anything I said here. It's not directed at anyone in particular.

yeah. I know that last picture wasn't very good. It was the only one I could find!.. I seem to have lost all the other ones ..*note to self: label all zip and jaz disks from now on*.

My english in-class essay was easy. It was only on "The Awakening", which happens to be the only book that I actually read from cover to cover. *whew* Guess I didn't need those sparknotes stuff after all. So now all I gotta do for AP Lit is to do the research paper.. aiya...

Dana's told me about some weird picture she took of me and another person on valentines day. I don't THINK we were doing anything weird.. *sweatdrop*. but why else would it be on her fridge?.. oy..

Oh. The results of the poll is still very very very inconclusive. What is it with you people? You ALL like different colors? Sheesh. So all the colors are equal about now. Someone pick blue! :P